111 | You Can Be Soft and Strong — Stop Apologizing for Your Power
Key Takeaways
🔥 1. You Were Conditioned to Shrink — Not Called To
Many Christian women learned early that “quiet” meant “good,”
“agreeable” meant “holy,”
and “self-sacrificing” meant “Godly.”
So you learned to:
avoid conflict
stay small
not disrupt the room
apologize for taking up space
But shrinking wasn’t discipleship — it was survival.
And survival-mode cannot build a Spirit-led life or business.
Biblical Truth:
2 Timothy 1:7 — “For God has not given us a spirit of fear… but of power, love, and a sound mind.”
You weren’t given fear. You were given power and love — both at the same time.
🔥 2. Softness and Strength Were Designed to Coexist
You don’t have to choose between being nurturing or bold.
Between compassion and conviction.
Between gentleness and leadership.
Jesus embodied both:
He wept.
He corrected.
He comforted.
He overturned tables.
Your softness doesn’t dilute your strength — it anchors it.
Biblical Truth:
Matthew 11:29 — Jesus describes Himself as “gentle and lowly,” yet He walked in undeniable authority.
Gentleness is not weakness; it’s Spirit-controlled strength.
🔥 3. Shrinking Yourself Creates Spiritual and Emotional Exhaustion
When you hold back your voice, skills, and power to keep the peace, it feels holy… until it doesn’t.
Symptoms of shrinking:
chronic resentment
emotional exhaustion
feeling invisible
low confidence
questioning your purpose
waiting for permission you already have
You can’t carry out your calling while constantly dimming the very gifts God gave you.
Biblical Truth:
Matthew 5:14 — “You are the light of the world.”
Light was meant to be seen, not hidden under fear or false humility.
🔥 4. The Signs You’re Apologizing for Your Power (Without Realizing It)
Most women don’t shrink loudly — they shrink quietly.
It sounds like:
“It’s not a big deal, really…”
“I don’t want to bother anyone…”
“I’m not an expert or anything…”
“It’s just a little side thing…”
Charging less than you know it’s worth
Downplaying your achievements
Making yourself smaller to make others comfortable
These habits don’t honor God — they handicap the assignment He gave you.
Biblical Truth:
Romans 12:6 — “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.”
Grace was not given for you to minimize it. It was given for you to use it.
🔥 5. Godly Strength Doesn’t Look Like The World’s Version
Strength doesn’t mean loud, bossy, aggressive, or dominant.
In the Kingdom, strength looks like:
confidence that doesn’t need applause
boundaries that honor your peace
leadership built on service
charging with integrity
showing up consistently without performing
making decisions without guilt
Strength rooted in God is steady, not showy.
Biblical Truth:
Joshua 1:9 — “Be strong and courageous… for the Lord your God is with you.”
Your strength doesn’t come from personality — it comes from Presence.
🔥 6. You Can Walk in Power Without Feeling ‘Prideful’
A lot of women confuse confidence with ego — so they choose tiny.
But here’s what’s true:
Confidence is agreement with God.
Pride is agreement with self alone.
Shrinking is agreement with fear.
Walking in your power means saying:
“God, if You put this in me, I won’t deny it.”
Biblical Truth:
Philippians 1:6 — “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion.”
You are not completing yourself — God is completing His work through you.
🔥 7. Practical Ways to Be Soft + Strong Starting Today
This is where the change becomes lived, not just learned.
Try these:
• The One Honest Sentence Practice
Say the truth out loud once a day:
“I’m good at this.”
“My gift matters.”
“This is what I want.”
• Interrupt Your Shrinking Patterns
When you catch yourself apologizing or minimizing,
replace the apology with a clear statement:
“Thank you.”
“This is what I offer.”
“This is my rate.”
• Let Your Softness Lead Your Strength
You don’t need to force energy.
Let your empathy, intuition, and discernment shape how you show up.
• Choose One Area to Stop Playing Small
Your pricing.
Your content.
Your boundaries.
Your voice.
Your decisions.
Let’s Take Action
These steps help your listeners move from knowing they have power… to actually walking in it.
📝 1. Identify Where You’ve Been Shrinking
Take 5 quiet minutes and reflect honestly.
Ask yourself:
Where have I been downplaying my gifts?
Where have I been saying “sorry” when I really meant “thank you”?
What part of my life or business have I been hiding or minimizing?
Circle one area you’re ready to stop shrinking in.
🗣️ 2. Say the Brave Sentence Out Loud
Pick one sentence of truth and speak it daily.
Examples:
“My gift is valuable.”
“I am allowed to take up space.”
“God put power in me on purpose.”
“I don’t have to apologize for who I am.”
Say it out loud — your voice needs to hear your voice.
💰 3. Make One Confidence-Based Decision Today
Choose ONE small step that reflects your strength:
Raise a price.
Post without overthinking.
Apply for the opportunity.
Tell someone your real boundary.
Share your offer boldly.
Stop giving discounts that were fear-based.
This creates micro-momentum.
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